Confessions of a shopaholic

Forgive me readers for I have sinned. It’s been 3,5 months since my last confession. I accuse myself of the following sin:

I went shopping yesterday…

I could say that it was a moment of weakness and that I’m planning on returning the items today. But I can only say that it was a conscious decision and I have no intention whatsoever of returning the items. On the contrary, I’ve already enjoyed wearing one of my new purchases. So what happened exactly?

Nothing out of the ordinary actually. I went in for a haircut, needed to get a crate for my bike (us Dutchies like pimping our bikes). And then saw the newly opened America Today Store. Honestly, I only went in to browse. But I saw so many nice things… Usually, trying them on is a good strategy to get them off your mind. I like the items on a mannequin, but when put on my – not so mannequinesque body- they just don’t look the same. Unfortunately, this time all the items looked really nice on me.

It had been so long since I’d been able to spoil and reward myself with something new. And while I was trying the items on, I realized exactly how much I had missed shopping. It sounds really pathetic, but shopping and buying new things, really brings me pleasure. The last 3,5 months I realized that there is nothing that can pick me up when I’m down as much as getting a new outfit can. Sad but true.

Obviously, there are a lot of things that bring me pleasure. I love walking, I love going out for drinks with friends, I enjoy arts and crafts, visiting markets, cinema and theatre. All these things I love, all these things I’ve been able to explore more these last few months. But when I’ve had a busy day at work, an argument with Boyfriend, when I’m ill, tired, stressed, frustrated. There is nothing that brightens up my day more than a new outfit. And while trying on the outfits in the fitting room yesterday I realized just how deprived I had been feeling for the past 3,5 months. And how frustrated that has made me feel at times.

The idea of this shopping sabbatical was to open my world to new experiences, to spend less money on shopping, to be more creative with what I already have and to be more conscious in my spending and purchasing behaviour and to take away the frustration and stress of constantly feeling the need to shop. I have definitely achieved this. But I also noticed that not being able to shop AT ALL, has brought about a lot of frustration.

Perhaps it’s because I hadn’t really planned this shopping sabbatical and because it was more of a spur of the moment thing. But as the weeks passed, seasons changed and our plans for the rest of the year were made, I realized that I was lacking, missing and needing quite a few items of clothing. For one thing: a spring jacket. I can’t possibly wear my winter jacket until June. And the idea of not being able to get those items and having to do with what I have, was really daunting to me.

Does this mean that I’m forsaking my new year’s resolution? Well, I guess I can’t really call it a shopping sabbatical anymore. But I’m not about to give up. I still want to achieve what I set out to do. Spend less, shop less and be more creative. I’ve just decided that I’m going to do it in a slightly different way. So no, I’m not resuming shopping. I’m going to proceed with my new year’s resolution: not shopping. And I’m going to take it one day at a time. And I’m going to start after I buy my spring jacket and some other much needed items.